26 In Family Life

Dating Your Daughter: Strengthening Mother-Daughter Relationship


Studies show that once your children become teenagers, their friends become their confidants and their mentors. Therefore it is very important to establish good communication, trust and solid relationship with your children before they become teenagers. That is why I decided to start weekly mother-daughter dates with my tween.

Get To Know Your Tween

I think that I know my daughter pretty well, yet I most certainly didn’t know everything about her interests and passions. That is why I asked her to sit down and write down 10 things that she is most interested in and that bring her joy.

Come Up With Date Ideas SHE Will Enjoy

Once her list was completed, it was time to come up with some creative dates. We both sat down at our kitchen table, grabbed 10 strips of paper, and wrote down 10 things we would like to do together based on the things she enjoys. Once this step was completed we read each date idea to make sure that we didn’t have the same thing written twice and that she liked all the ideas. We folded the papers and put them into a jar.


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Schedule Weekly Dates

We decided that our date night would be every Wednesday. My daughter took some colorful markers and wrote down Mother-Daughter Date Night under Wednesdays for July and August on the family calendar that we have on our fridge.

mother-daughter-2 dates

Planned vs Surprise Date

Only one question remained: should we pick out the strips with our dates at that moment and write down on the calendar where we were going for the next eight weeks, or should we leave the papers in the jar and pick one out on the day of our date? We decided to do both. Kind of. We picked out four pieces of paper and wrote out what we were going to do on every second date. Then, under the remaining Wednesdays we wrote down SURPRISE DATE. For those Wednesdays we will be picking out the strip from the jar on the day of our date.

Some of Our Mother-Daughter Date Ideas

Since my daughter loves reading, drawing, painting, manga, Nintendo videogames, and crafts of all sorts we were able to come up with quiet a few interesting ideas. Here are some of the dates we are both looking forward to going on together:

1. Going to paint pottery at the ceramic shop. (I got a great two-for-one coupon on Groupon for this one)

2. Grabbing a hot chocolate at Starbucks attached to our local bookstore and going in to find our new favourite book, and of course, picking it up for our summer reading.

3. Going to a local coffee shop with wifi and learning more about some of her favourite YouTube channels and Podcasts

mother-daughter-dates-pin4. Taking a cupcake decorating class at our local Michael’s. This also involves making two dozens of cupcakes, which we can do together as well.

5. Going to a local art museum together.

6. Going for ice cream tasting at one of our favourite ice cream shops.

7. Spending an evening at our local library.

8. Taking a drawing class together.

9. Window shopping at our favourite craft store.

10. Going for a walk at our local marina, watching the yachts coming in for the night and chatting.

11. Pastry shop hopping. Going to at least three pastry shops in the area, picking up a treat in each and coming home to share them with other family members.

BONUS: 12. Visiting a used book bookstore.


What About You?

Do you have a tween in your home? What do you do to build trust, to keep open communication and to strengthen the bond with your child? Share your ideas in comments below.


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  • Reply
    Ophira | Easy Mommy Life
    July 17, 2017 at 9:58 am

    I totally get this post. My mom and I have always gone for mother daughter dates shopping, music concerts, etc and this helped strengthen our bond immensely!

    • Reply
      July 17, 2017 at 11:06 am

      You are very lucky! I’m so glad to hear that it had a very positive effect on your relationship. I hope it will strengthen my relationship with my daughter as well 🙂

  • Reply
    Krystal Miller (@hhtfamilyblog)
    July 17, 2017 at 10:30 am

    We’re not quite at that stage yet. You have some great ideas here. Definitely saving for future reference.

    • Reply
      July 17, 2017 at 11:08 am

      You will be surprised how fast this stage will come. I remember changing diapers and now we’re getting pedicures together, lol! Enjoy every moment with your little ones!

  • Reply
    A Geeky Ginger
    July 17, 2017 at 10:39 am

    This is a fantastic post. Really informative and helpful

    • Reply
      July 17, 2017 at 11:08 am

      Thank you so much!

  • Reply
    July 17, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    What a cool idea, i love that you did this! She is so lucky to have a mom who cares so much about her interests and what you can do together based on that. All of these sound super fun and I would love to do them!

  • Reply
    July 17, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    I love this idea and will definitely use this when my kiddos get older. What fun memories you are making with your daughter!

    • Reply
      July 17, 2017 at 11:47 pm

      Thank you! And I truly am looking forward to our next date and making more memories 🙂

  • Reply
    Stephanie Malcolm, author
    July 18, 2017 at 6:32 am

    Quality one-on-one time is always good for strengthening the parent child bond. Great ideas!

    • Reply
      July 19, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      You’re so right! And it doesn’t have to be planned or expensive. Even snuggling with your little one at night and sharing stories from the day (for example) is a great way to bond 🙂 Thank you for stopping by!

  • Reply
    July 18, 2017 at 9:34 am

    This is such a great idea. So many parents have no idea what is going on in there kids lives. These are great date idea.

  • Reply
    Jojo Hua
    July 19, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    I’ve never thought about this. Growing up, my mum didn’t allow me to be very open with her. I grew up feeling really isolated and vowing that if I ever had a daughter one day, I would encourage her to tell me anything and everything. But I can now see that it can be difficult once your daughter reaches her teenage years. I guess I will have to learn as I go! Thank you for this post.

    • Reply
      July 19, 2017 at 6:28 pm

      Oh, trust me, we are all learning as we go 🙂 We learn from our own past, and from our own and other people mistakes. Looking at your blog and how positive you seem to be, I believe you will do a great job as a mom. Cheers!

  • Reply
    Best Hairstylist Delhi
    August 1, 2017 at 5:32 am

    great post

  • Reply
    February 1, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    I love this. I’m scared of losing my daughter to this world & this is an awesome way to rekindle & reconnect.

  • Reply
    February 17, 2018 at 9:08 am

    I love this! I was very private when I was younger and I think if I was more open it would have kept me out of some trouble. You are doing a great job, this is a great idea.

  • Reply
    February 17, 2018 at 9:14 am

    This si great! I always loved spending time with my mom (still do!) – I think the point is indeed to consider what you guys both will like to do. A shopping day, out for lunch or whatever fits you guys. Great message & very true!

  • Reply
    February 18, 2018 at 3:38 am

    These are some great parenting tips! I bet my sister would have loved to been able to put these suggestions to use.

  • Reply
    February 18, 2018 at 7:52 am

    My mom passed away two years ago. I was only 28. But we always had a close relationship. I remember that she was always just excited to spend time with me no matter what it was. That is so important. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Cherish these moments because you just never know what tomorrow will bring.

  • Reply
    Kartika Nair
    February 19, 2018 at 12:32 am

    This is a really great advice to all parents . Now a days everyone so consumed with technology and social media they have no time for such things . I date my mother . I usually take her out to do what she loves . It makes her happy and that makes me happy 🙂 Really your article is a must read .

  • Reply
    February 19, 2018 at 12:41 am

    Great idea…thanks for sharing

  • Reply
    Takara Ayana
    February 19, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    This is a great idea! I remember when I became a teenager I started drifting away from my mother :(. But now our relationship is much better and we go on mommy daughter dates!

  • Reply
    Renata - www.byemyself.com
    May 3, 2018 at 7:51 am

    My daughter is already an adult, so we already went through basically all the stages. I agree, building up a strong relationship helps to ‘survive’ the bumpy part. You have to build up trust in her – and in yourself as well – and then you can just let go and do not have to feel insecure during these periods that her friends are closer to her than you; than you seem to be, that is, because once you have a strong bond, you are part of her life, no matter what.

  • Reply
    October 11, 2018 at 5:33 am

    Wooow. It is great. Very helpful.

  • Reply
    April 3, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    I have read this a couple of times…I love it!! Thank you for this inspiring post!!

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